(March 14, 2009- Washington, D.C.)- President Barrack Obama is reeling this afternoon after a morning press conference in which the most powerful man in the world confessed that the snubbing of Great Britain Prime Minister Gordon Brown was intentional.
Obama admitted transgression following a string of questions from the media outlet WAF. The shocking transcript is reprinted below:
WAF: Mr. President, Led here, from WAF. Could you please explain exactly what happened with Mr. Brown’s visit and the snubbing of our closest ally?
Obama: There was no snubbing, and that is the, uh, end of the story.
WAF: Well most of England feels like it got the shaft.
Obama: Well how does Great Britain feel?
WAF: Sir?
Obama: You know England is just one small piece of Great Britain.
WAF: Sir?
Obama: I bet you, uh, the previous President was unaware of that fact.
WAF: So you’re saying you only intended to anger England and not Great Britain.
Obama: Yes. Uh, no. There was no snubbing.
WAF: Follow-up question. What were the DVD’s that you gave to Mr. Brown.
Obama: Let’s see there was Braveheart, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, I really love that one. There was uh, King Ralph, and uh, V for Vendetta.
WAF: Sir, that is quite a list. It appears that, well, that none of those really portray England very well.
Obama: What do you mean?
WAF: Well, Braveheart was about Scottish rebels fighting the evil English king. Robin Hood took on the feudal system, you know the whole redistribution of wealth. King Ralph is about an American becoming King of England, and V for Vendetta calls for an uprising and overthrow of the English government.
Obama: What is your point?
WAF: Seems like a pretty consistent message you are trying to send.
Obama: Let me ask you this, and I am, uh, of course, a student of history. Do any of these movies present a false image of the England as it, uh, currently exists.
WAF: What?
Obama: Do they present a contradictory message?
WAF: Well, yeah, I think so.
Obama: Well then, we have a differing opinion, don’t we?
WAF: Sir, are you contending that England is more closely represented by the DVD’s you sent to Mr. Brown than by our nearly two hundred years of friendship?
Obama: Two hundred years of friendship? These people tried to kill my ancestors. They tried to kill your ancestors.
WAF: Sir, I’m English.
Obama: Well how the **** did you get in here?
WAF: Sir, I’ve been covering you since you announced you were running for President.
Obama: Well okay then. They didn’t kill, uh, your ancestors, but they did mine. And everyone else in this country. Why do we forget that, if we are so concerned about, uh, terrorism? Who has had a more tyrannical history than England?
WAF: Is it your contention that the United States should sever it’s alliances with Great Britain.
Obama: Certainly not. But I don’t think they are anything special. They are just like the other 57 states, and 190 countries- all the same.
WAF: I think the people of England would beg to differ with that.
Obama: Friends? Do friends attack friends?
WAF: Sir?
Obama: Oh yeah, everyone forgets about the War of 1812. Like it didn’t happen. But I don’t. And where the hell, uh, were they when the Civil War was going on? Suddenly we save their ass in the 20th Century a few times and we are best buds. This relationship hasn’t really been, uh, mutual has it?
WAF: Again sir, I think England would beg to differ.
Obama: You can beg all you want, you aren’t getting any stimulus.
WAF: What about all of the troops in Afghanistan and Iraq that have stood by you since September 11th and put their lives on the line.
Obama: I told you I’m bringing all the troops home soon.
WAF: The English soldiers, sir.
Obama: What about them?
WAF: What do you say to them?
Obama: Tally ho?
At this point President Obama was whisked away by Secret Service because of an emergency that we later learned was whether or not the scones for the Saint Patrick’s Day dinner should have raisins.
Follow-up calls to the White House for clarification were not returned, though a source did say he thought the President was “joking” and was likely just caught off guard when his teleprompter did not work.
Representatives from Great Britain have also not yet returned calls for comment.
Obama admitted transgression following a string of questions from the media outlet WAF. The shocking transcript is reprinted below:
WAF: Mr. President, Led here, from WAF. Could you please explain exactly what happened with Mr. Brown’s visit and the snubbing of our closest ally?
Obama: There was no snubbing, and that is the, uh, end of the story.
WAF: Well most of England feels like it got the shaft.
Obama: Well how does Great Britain feel?
WAF: Sir?
Obama: You know England is just one small piece of Great Britain.
WAF: Sir?
Obama: I bet you, uh, the previous President was unaware of that fact.
WAF: So you’re saying you only intended to anger England and not Great Britain.
Obama: Yes. Uh, no. There was no snubbing.
WAF: Follow-up question. What were the DVD’s that you gave to Mr. Brown.
Obama: Let’s see there was Braveheart, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, I really love that one. There was uh, King Ralph, and uh, V for Vendetta.
WAF: Sir, that is quite a list. It appears that, well, that none of those really portray England very well.
Obama: What do you mean?
WAF: Well, Braveheart was about Scottish rebels fighting the evil English king. Robin Hood took on the feudal system, you know the whole redistribution of wealth. King Ralph is about an American becoming King of England, and V for Vendetta calls for an uprising and overthrow of the English government.
Obama: What is your point?
WAF: Seems like a pretty consistent message you are trying to send.
Obama: Let me ask you this, and I am, uh, of course, a student of history. Do any of these movies present a false image of the England as it, uh, currently exists.
WAF: What?
Obama: Do they present a contradictory message?
WAF: Well, yeah, I think so.
Obama: Well then, we have a differing opinion, don’t we?
WAF: Sir, are you contending that England is more closely represented by the DVD’s you sent to Mr. Brown than by our nearly two hundred years of friendship?
Obama: Two hundred years of friendship? These people tried to kill my ancestors. They tried to kill your ancestors.
WAF: Sir, I’m English.
Obama: Well how the **** did you get in here?
WAF: Sir, I’ve been covering you since you announced you were running for President.
Obama: Well okay then. They didn’t kill, uh, your ancestors, but they did mine. And everyone else in this country. Why do we forget that, if we are so concerned about, uh, terrorism? Who has had a more tyrannical history than England?
WAF: Is it your contention that the United States should sever it’s alliances with Great Britain.
Obama: Certainly not. But I don’t think they are anything special. They are just like the other 57 states, and 190 countries- all the same.
WAF: I think the people of England would beg to differ with that.
Obama: Friends? Do friends attack friends?
WAF: Sir?
Obama: Oh yeah, everyone forgets about the War of 1812. Like it didn’t happen. But I don’t. And where the hell, uh, were they when the Civil War was going on? Suddenly we save their ass in the 20th Century a few times and we are best buds. This relationship hasn’t really been, uh, mutual has it?
WAF: Again sir, I think England would beg to differ.
Obama: You can beg all you want, you aren’t getting any stimulus.
WAF: What about all of the troops in Afghanistan and Iraq that have stood by you since September 11th and put their lives on the line.
Obama: I told you I’m bringing all the troops home soon.
WAF: The English soldiers, sir.
Obama: What about them?
WAF: What do you say to them?
Obama: Tally ho?
At this point President Obama was whisked away by Secret Service because of an emergency that we later learned was whether or not the scones for the Saint Patrick’s Day dinner should have raisins.
Follow-up calls to the White House for clarification were not returned, though a source did say he thought the President was “joking” and was likely just caught off guard when his teleprompter did not work.
Representatives from Great Britain have also not yet returned calls for comment.
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Nicely done!