Frank's Tuesday Morning Hangover

Before I get less serious and more sarcastic I want to take a moment to recognize my colleagues and family at the Pinelake Health and Rehab center of Carthage, North Carolina. During a recent shooting rampage seven defenseless residents and their heroic charge nurse – Jerry Avent - lost their lives. Nurse Avent gave his life protecting his residents from harm. My nursing brotherhood lost a great one that day.

My prayers and thoughts reach out to each and every one of the loved ones that these innocents left behind.

I also want to take this opportunity to recognize Officer Justin Garner, who took three shots before dropping scumbag murderer Robert Stewart. Officer Garner had been accepted as a North Carolina State Highway Patrolman but stayed back in Carthage out of a feeling of service towards his hometown.

Open invitation to Officer Garner - If I’m ever in Carthage, North Carolina, dinner’s on me. Whatever you want my brother.

The ONE recently signed off on an increase in the Americorps Gestapo, errrr… volunteerism group of 75,000 members to 250,000 at an increase in cost of $5.7 billion in funding. There will be spots open for Americans of grade school aged children all the way up to senior citizens, but there is a mechanism to make membership compulsory for high school and college students. The group will be outfitted with special uniforms and even (re)education centers teaching these wonderful people in the fine arts of community agitation… I mean “organization”. They will be trained with the best attributes of our community organizers and the U.S. military.

High school kids with special uniforms and training in crowd control… hmm.

Anyone get the feeling that they were clubbed over the head by Cambodians in 1976 and woke up to a German interrogation in 1939 Berlin?

About a week ago I had the good fortune to spend the day at my daughters’ grade school, acting as a hall monitor and tutor. Some of what I saw left me dumbfounded.

My opinions

-6th graders should not be allowed to dress as sluts-in-training. Their parents should be shot for allowing this, and the school administration needs to be slapped around for not sending these kids home.

-Teachers shouldn’t be dressed in jeans and t shirts or sweatshirts, the explanation being that “the students are more comfortable if everyone dresses the same”. Newsflash “teachers” – you’re supposed to be authority figures, not peers to 4th graders. Dress the damned part. When I was in grade school you knew that the old ladies in the habits were the ones that could rap your knuckles if you hacked them off.

-Finally, if Johnny can’t spell “a-c-k-n-o-w-l-e-d-g-e” you don’t tell him that he did a great job, but does another student “have a better answer”. Johnny screwed up. Tell him he was wrong and to write the word correctly on the board in front of the rest of the class. We're too worried about a child's self-esteem. Self-esteem doesn’t make great students. Making kids actually learn things in preparation of their futures makes great students. Self-esteem comes later when your kids are stepping on the stupid kids on their to the top of their chosen fields.

This is in a nice neighborhood grade school in a gaited community. I’m not talking about an inner city junior high where the teachers have to carry holdout pistols in case they need to waste a pissed off Rodian in a dive bar. (author’s note I’ll send a Ruby Tuesday’s $10 gift card to the sender of my first received email that tells me which dive bar that would be.)

So The ONE doesn’t want to run the American automobile industry but he has the authority to fire now former GM CEO Rick Waggoner. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m wondering how American business is going to survive and thrive during this downturn if all of the potential executive superstars are so afraid of “special” government intervention that they avoid the risk taking that has made this country great.

Barack Obama wants to bail out the banks in order to free up credit for anyone that wants to get a new AmEx card. He wants bankers to give you the cash you need to spend, spend, spend. On the other hand, Tim Geithner wants Americans to wake up and realize that frugality and caring more about what you do for others is more important than how much money you make.

Do these guys get the same memos?

I celebrated Earth Hour by preparing an outstanding 24 ounce t-bone with asparagus and sweet potato fries on my George Foreman Grill ™.

Yes, I do own one. Seriously.

As always email me your thoughts and suggestions, but remember to send your hate mail to ScrewYourselfSlowlyWith@Chainsaw.com.

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