Frank's Tuesday Morning Hangover

Labels: , ,

My name’s Frank and I like to eat meat. Unapologetically.

I recently got into a heated discussion with some ahole who was hacked off because I had the unmitigated gall to disagree with his anti-gun/anti-hunting/anti meat consumption rant. Let me start by saying that I don’t personally hunt (the natural elements reek havoc on my perfectly coiffed, product-laden head of hair), but I do enjoy consuming the spoils of the game.

Isn’t it ironic that the human race spent five million years crawling to the top of the food chain only to have vegetarians tell us that they are more evolved than those of us that revel in being carnivorous?

I love steak. I love pork chops. I love seabass. I love turkey. Hey PETA - want to get really pissed off?

I loooooooooooove veal.

Make it your personal quest to eat an extra animal for every vegetarian that frosts you today.

You know what’s almost as bad as a nut punch? Freezing your balls off holding a door open for a woman only to have her berate you for being an insensitive, sexist prick.

Anyone else think that Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio suck incredible amounts of ass? If you watch their films for any reason other than to get a handjob you should turn in your ‘nads. Hell, I think that you have to drop your scrotum off at the concession stand on your way into the theater.

Ok, here’s your popcorn, slurpee aaaaaaand… whoa… you’ve still got your ball sack. You know that you can’t take that in there, right?

Why doesn’t Troma Entertainment crank out the high art that we took for granted in the 80’s?

Who else is pissed off that you didn’t buy a house twice the size of the one that you own for the low, low, low ARM rates?

Show of hands.

Now that Obama has decided to "spread the wealth" from the "rich" to the downtrodden we once again have proof that God protects stupid people.

When the hell did Jeff Spicoli start taking himself so seriously?

At the recent Oscars Awards show Spicoli called out the "homophobes" that voted against gay marriage in California. In the next breath he praised Americans for electing "such an elegant man" as President of our country.

Hey Spicoli – Obama is against gay marriage.

Dearest Nancy, we'll give you a seven day waiting period and mandatory training before gun ownership if you give us a seven day waiting period and mandatory counseling before an abortion.


Finally a shout out to my man President Barack Hussein Obama – thank you for getting Kathleen Sebelius the hell out of my state.

She has all but bankrupted Kansas due in no small part by making it a safe haven for illegal aliens. She recently went so far as to threaten Kansans with not receiving our tax returns before caving to the Republican dominated legislature who had the audacity to get her to promise to balance the state budget.

This woman screwed up healthcare delivery as the Kansas insurance commissioner, she’s screwed up Medicaid reimbursement as our governor, and now she gets to oversee the correction of our nation’s "healthcare crisis".

Is it too late to give up my citizenship, move to Mexico and cross the river back in?

Got a contradictory comment? Send it to

Comments (0)