Frank's Tuesday Morning Hangover April 14, 2009

Ok, so I’m a little extra hungover this morning. I was up late last night celebrating the life and times of one Ms. Marilyn Chambers – may she rest in peace - who began her career as the lead actress in the groundbreaking art film “Behind the Green Door”.

Go ahead and google it, but don’t do it from your office desk.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

Remind me to never piss off a Navy SEAL.

How do three guys lying prone on the deck of a rocking, moving ship hit three smallish targets simultaneously that are also on a rocking moving ship?

Better question, how geeked was Captain Richard Phillips about then? Think about sitting around wondering if you'll ever see your family or scarf down a slab of rare t bone ever again and suddenly your captors just DROP all around you.

Think he kicked any of the corpses before being yanked aboard the USS Bainbridge?

If I hear ONE more liberal bitch about the Patriot Act I’m going to explode faster than one of Kim Jong Il’s rockets sitting on a launching pad.

The Department of Homeland Security's Office of Intelligence and Analysis has recently sent out a nine page report detailing the “increase in right wing extremist activity”. According to this report, the election of America's first black president and the return of a few disgruntled war veterans (so much for “keeping the promise to our national heroes", huh?) could swell the ranks of white-power militias. This report was sent to all of the cpontry’s sheriff’s offices imploring law enforcement to watch out for people that speak out against abortion or illegal immigration or who are vocal on the importance of states’ rights.

So if you disagree with our current regime,…. err…. “government”, smile!

The ONE is watching you.

One of Kansas city’s congressman, the good “reverend” Emmanuel Cleaver recently traveled to Cuba with the rest of the Congressional Black Caucus. He returned to his district gushing that El Presidente Castro was a charming and intelligent man and that he saw no evidence of the oppression of the Cuban people.


In unrelated news, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad makes a kickin' falafel and belts a killer karaoke rendition of Boston’s “More Than a Feeling”.

I'd like to close out by sending my condolences and prayers to the friends and family of rookie pitcher Nick Adenhardt, late of the Angels. May the drunk driver that cut short the life of this young man rot in hell.

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Comment (1)

So this administration goes from saying "Let's not focus on ISLAMIC terrorism...let's be compassionate" to "Right Wing White Men Are About To Attack!"

Got it. As for those Pirates, why are they not inhaling mushroom cloud goodness this fine morning?