Blogging The President

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Coming live from WAF headquarters in parts unknown, we bring to you the President of the United States. Come along for the ride in a live play by play diary. Be warned, the edits will be limited.

8:31 p.m.- Coincidence? Obama will preempt the Biggest Loser on NBC tonight. Stay tuned for more...

8:33 p.m.- We've also been alerted that American Idol is being preempted tonight. Make up your mind Mr. President, are you a loser or an idol, we can't have both. These are the tough decisions that need to be made in this tough economic climate.

8:35 p.m.- And what's with taking over prime time TV anyway? Doesn't he know that Tuesdays are the only night worth watching? Is this what it's going to be like in four years when things get realllll ugly- nightly addresses from the bosses?

8:46 p.m.- So, exactly how negative is this speech going to be tonight? Will there be a return to the positive Obama? Or will we simply hear about the worst climate since the Great Depression and how the poor President, pardon the pun, inherited this mess?

8:52 p.m.- For the record, this viewer will be tuning into NBC for the speech, more fun than FOX. Although we may have to switch to Fox later for the Jindal speech. NBC plans on returning to normal programming at 10 p.m. You know, we can't miss another episode of Law and Order.

9:00 Woohoo! A Special Report. Live From Washington. It's Brian Williams. With a blue tie that is trying to hypnotize me. And a weird looking bald man just came out on TV. And Al Roker's older brother too. Wow.

9:01- Ahhhh the President held a lunch for a small gathering of reporters. Shocking. And the David Gregory blow job is in full swing. Says Obama is going to "condition" us for the economy that is about to worsen. Good times. HOPE!

9:02- What the hell is Pelosi wearing?

9:04- The cabinet is not yet complete. Any mention as to why? Of course not.

9:05- A female version of Slugsworth just yanked Hillary aside as she entered the chamber? We can only imagine what was said there. "Get me an ever-lasting Gobstopper!"

9:06- Seriously. Brian Williams says the administration has made zero mistakes so far, with the POSSIBLE exception of Geithner's plan for the banks. Thanks for coming Brian.

9:07- From the sideline reporter: Smiles, handshakes and warm greetings fill the air. Now THERE is the HOPE and CHANGE. At least the media hasn't given up yet.

9:10- The President is announced.

9:13- Still making his way to the podium. NBC ignoring the "polls" in favor of the poles in their pants.

9:15- An hour long speech? Fuck me. I have to listen to this for an hour? An hour? Good lord. Well anyway, five minutes later, he's at the podium.

9:15- I hate Nancy Pelosi. An amazing amount. She's ten times worse than Obama could ever dream of being.

9:16- Pelosi sucks. Doesn't she know her place? Applause for the first lady? A standing ovation? Fuck me. This is going to take all night.

9:17- Woohoo, speaking frankly is back. I love it. We don't need to hear another list of statistics, but you will. Just wait. It's coming.

9:19- Someone tell Ruth she doesn't need to get up every time these morons start applauding. And yes, a Charlie Rangel sighting. If he paid his taxes, we'd cut the deficit in half in no time.

9:20- About damn time we started talking about the inheritance. I thought he was going to say something intelligent, until he went to energy costs. And then health care (how are we going to pay for that again?). And then piling up debt! Boy, who has been doing that in the last week? Ah yes, and now the transferring the wealth. And REGULATIONS! Damn it!

9:23- Inherited times two! And did he really just say he was not for bigger government? What!?

9:25- Let's talk about this create or save 3.5 million jobs comment they've been tossing around. And a shout out to Mule in the Minny Police! Nice. But back to the jobs, talk about a number they will never be able to back up. What do you mean we've lost ten million jobs? Maybe, but we've SAVED 3.5 million.

9:25- And oh yeah, I thought we didn't need any statistics? That only took 8 minutes!

9:26- These guys are so happy with themselves. People are going to held accountable. Damn it, accountability. Too bad he already broke his first promise on this bill by not letting it sit 48 hours before acting. But let's not talk about that.

9:28- Swiftly and aggressively! Apparently the speech writer intends to use every adjective possible tonight, all while refusing to release one detail about this swift and aggressive plan. Are there any?

9:30- I don't know what they are applauding. This is the same shit we've been hearing for months. THIS TIME? You voted for the plan last time. You did. Why don't you say that?

9:32- I REFUSE TO LET THAT HAPPEN! What happens when his plan fails miserably? What is he going to refuse then? Can someone explain to me how he can sit there and say, "This is not about helping banks, it's helping people," when he's not doing that.

9:34- It's time to put into place common sense rules? Well we finally agree on something. Too bad the administration is lacking common sense. Long term investments with what? Where's the money coming from? Oh and now that we've been down the road of hope, back to schools (which we can't pay for), health care (which we can't pay for), and jobs (which we can't pay for, or create).

9:37- Did he really just try to equate the building of the Trans-Continental Railroad with the $787 billion in bullshit the Congress just passed. Do people really buy this? Really?

9:38- And energy. Don't forget about energy. Jesus, we are fucked. WAF rules.

9:39- This speech would be much more bearable if Pelosi were not sitting/standing behind him. And by the way, for a speech that didn't need any statistics, he sure is using a lot of numbers that absolutely no one can back up. Funny how that rhetoric works.

9:42- We are committed to a new imaginative auto industry. On your backs. It won't be easy. That has replaced hope and change. A bankruptcy every 30 seconds. Premiums growing 4 times as fast as wages. 1.5 million homes lost to health care.

We don't need stats. We just don't.

Time for health care reform. How will we pay? Who knows. Who cares!

9:45- Seeking the cure for cancer. I can't wait for I Am Legend to actually happen. This has been a fantastic speech. How are we going to pay for this again, AND cut the deficit in half? Can someone, anyone, offer any type of answer to that. Anyone? Are we going to sell Alaska to the Russians?

9:48- I'm just glad we are not using statistics tonight. Bigger buzzword of the night- "reform" or "responsible." Lots of reform going on. He's asking every American t commit to at least one year of higher education. Let's have that frank conversation he wanted. Are there enough jobs now for all of the college graduates? Ummm, no. Keep it up!

9:49- "To all those assholes that paid for college, you were born too early. We'll now give it away if you just say, 'But I can't do it myself.' This is our duty. This is our future."

Ok, so he didn't really say that. I don't think so anyway.

9:51- We don't want to pass along the debt to our grandchildren? That's admirable. I thought that was only a Republican card. Then he follows it up with inherited. The Democrats are so pathetic.

9:53- As the astute KO points out. Has he said one thing tonight of note? One? Can you think of one single thing? The look at Pelosi's face about Iraq is priceless. Does she remember that she voted for the war. Do any of them? I can say honestly, I loath these people.

9:55- REDISTRIBUTE THE WEALTH! It works! Yes! We love it! Just do it. I hear some booing in that chamber. At least some people have some balls left. And I know I can't wait for my $13 a week! That will fix everything. These arrogant assholes are intent on destroying the entire country and don't believe anyone will stand in their way. I hope they're wrong.

9:58- These Dems sure have a funny way of screaming they will not allow something to happen, and then acting as quickly as possible to subvert those words. Is that a disease? Can they get help for it?

9:59- Raising pay and benefits for veteran? It took him an hour, but he said something I can agree with. That one hurt Pelosi. She could barely stand up.

10:00- She couldn't be happier about the closing of Gitmo though. Funny how that works. He's also making a commitment that the United States does not torture. That's nice to know. What the hell do you consider this speech?

10:01- According to NBC before, there are still 15 minutes left in this speech. How? And now we're talking about how the world depends on us? Wait, what? Really? That's what we now need to discuss. Oh, and for those waiting, apparently, they are going to talk to Rahm Emmanuel before they go to Bobby Jindal. Riiiiiiigggggghhhhhtttt...

10:03- He actually just called for the United States to become a Socialist society. He did. He really did. This guy is the shining example of what we should become. If that's what makes him happy, great. Nice work guy. But just because he does it, does not mean everyone should. And it makes me sick that he just attempted to make that point.

10:05- Propping up children is always good for a standing applause.

10:07- He just went off script. "We haven't been on the same all the time... thus far." You bastard Republicans will obey. You must!

10:08- And as the President leaves the podium, and I'm left with but three words- "Nancy Pelosi sucks."

10:09- David Gregory blowjob back in effect. Obama "took the country to school." What? These guys will follow this man to the seventh level of hell. Nothing will stop them. Can we just get onto Jindal so I can go to bed.

10:11- The problem with Democrats and the media is that they love to suck each others dicks. They can do no wrong in each other's eyes. It's transparent and sad, but it is what it is. We will have to deal with it.

10:12- I had to switch to Fox, Brian Williams was too much. And he's the moderate of the elitist media. Almost Jindal time. Don't blow it.

10:14- For what it's worth, even I find the guy (Obama) likable as he stands and just chats with people.

10:18- I'm still trying to figure out how we're going to cut the deficit in half, spend $800 billion on this stimulus, fund universal health care, fund an entire college system, and deal with the $400 billion Congress package that they want. How can you accomplish all this? Do people think about this, or are we alone?

10:23- Charles Krauthammer looks like he is being propped up like he just send a weekend at Bernie's. That said, he is right. Republicans basically need to call Bush a hypocrite and move back to a conservative spending agenda. But they have to shed Bush first.

10:24- Bobby Jindal must be the happiest guy on earth.

10:27- Jindal with the most devastating Katrina comment I have ever heard. That was brutal.

10:28- "The strength of America is not in its government." A.M.E.N.

10:30- If nothing else, Jindal has laid it on the line. He said the plan will fail. If it does, he can say I told you so. If it doesn't (I know, I know) he is done.

10:32- On Sunday evening, I wrote that, "Jindal failing to get this message across in a plain-spoken manner that the majority of the country can connect with will have the effect of Obama not closing a barn door, but just another opportunity for this country to right itself."

Unfortunately, another window has closed. Whoever wrote this speech should be shot. More Republican yawning. No one gives a shit about Louisiana. I can't believe this is the best the Republican Party can do. I like Jindal. He appears to be a smart guy, comes off very likable, but right now I feel like he's talking down to me. Actually, he kind of reminds me of Fred Rogers.

10:35- "Our party is determined to regain your trust." If he had started out with that it would have been better. But he started out with talking about how great they are when the country just told them in November how much they suck. Not that I was ever on it, but Jindal's bandwagon will be pretty empty tomorrow morning.

10:37- Britt Hume: "The speech read a lot better than what it was delivered, this was not Bobby Jindal's finest oratory moment." Yeah, that was FOX.

10:38- WAF. And good night.

Comments (34)

Hillary is glowing -- quite literally.

He's doing the "special" handshake.

Let's do a "crisis" count.

He's campaigning for 2012.

Oh -- first "inherit" - take a shot

Ugh... the media pool had that camera cut to McCain planned to coincide with the word "skeptical". How utterly ridiculous.

Your money is safe in the banks. It's worth less, but it's safe. Oh, and by the way, we own them now.

Nobody messes with Joe.....except his own foot.

More lending? We don't need more lending. We need more paying back. Are these people really this stupid?

Joe Lieberman looks like he wants to throw something.

Where is all this money coming from? Has anyone figured this out yet?

Economy, economy, economy. Say, anyone thought about terrorism lately? No? Oh, well that's just friggin' great.

Pelosi keeps smirking. Is she sitting on something we should know about? Remember how miserable she used to look behind Bush?

Pelosi is acting like she smoked part of that dress...

Uh -- Climate Change -- somewhere Al Gore is creaming his jeans and rolling in a pile money.

"The most important time is the first years of life." But we won't talk about when that begins.

And let's teach them about sex.

Here comes the Civilian Security Force. He ain't waiting.

Someone wake-up Oren Hatch. He's on tv.

A mother or father. But never both. Can't have that. Lord knows the problem in this country is too many orphans.

I'm not being funny, but has this guy said anything yet?

Take a shot.

He's identified 2 trillion dollars they can save over the next decade. That's 200 billion this year. So he's still down 800 billion by my count. Love libs.

Wow. This genius is gonna take credit for ending the Iraq war.

And defeating Al Qaeda.

Wow.

Jeez, clarity in the budget? So the stimulus is the word "is".

It's in the BIBLE!!!! It's in the BIBLE!!!!

Our armed forced have our unyielding support -- and there's John Kerry smirking in the background.

Define justice.

This is like the fortune cookie rule.

Any time he says something negative, add the words "if you're a Republican". Then you'll catch his real meaning.

"I know it's easy to be cynical, and petty.....


...if you're a Republican."

It's over. Anyone else feel like they've just been in the Principal's office?

I missed my shout-out :(

Slow down, Bobby. You're talking way too fast.

This is awful. Come back in two years, Bobby. Go govern.

Oh, Sarah, where are ye.

You know what? I'm suddenly remembering why we called this blog what we did. Holy crap.

Veryhit or miss -- more miss than hit.